I have never seen you
Wearing
one of those gold-bordered saris
With
a gold necklace
With
gold bangles
With
fancy sandals
Mother!
I have seen you
Burning
the soles of your feet in the harsh summer sun
Hanging
your little ones in a cradle on an acacia tree
Carrying
barrels of tar
Working
on a road construction crew…………
I
have seen you
With
a basket of earth on your head
Rags
bound on your feet
Giving
a sweaty kiss to the naked child
Who
came tottering over to you
Working
for your daily wage, working, working………
I
have seen you
Turning
back the tide of tears
Trying
to ignore your stomach's growl
Suffering
parched throat and lips
Building
a dam on a lake………
I
have seen you
For
a dream of four mud walls
Stepping
carefully, pregnant
On
the scaffolding of a sky scraper
Carrying
a hod of wet cement on your head………..
I
have seen you
In
evening, untying the end of your sari
For
the coins to buy salt and oil,
Putting
a five paise coin
On
a little hand
Saying
'go eat candy'
Taking
the little bundle from the cradle to your breast
Saying
"Study, become an Ambedkar"
And
let the baskets fall from my hands…………
I
have seen you
Sitting
in front of the stove
Burning
your very bones
To
make coarse bread and a little something
To
feed everybody, but half-fed yourself
So
there'd would a bit in the morning………..
I
have seen you
Washing
clothes and cleaning pots
In
different households
Rejecting
the scraps of food offered to you
With
pride
Covering
yourself with a sari
That
had been mended so many times
Saying
"Don't you have a mother or a sister?"
To
anyone who looked at you with lust in his eyes……….
I
have seen you
On
a crowded street with a market basket on your head
Trying
always to keep your head covered with the end of your sari
Chasing
anyone who nudged you deliberately
With
your sandal in your hand…………
I
have seen you working until sunset
Piercing
the darkness to turn toward home,
Then
forcing from the door
That
man who staggered in from the hooch hut……..
I
have seen you
At
the front of the Long March
The
end of your sari tucked tightly at the waist
Shouting
"Change the name"
Taking
the blow of the police stick on your upraised hands
Going
to jail with head held high………
I
have seen you
Saying
when your only son
Fell
martyr to police bullets
"You
died for Bhim, your death means something"
saying
boldly to the police
"If
I had two or three sons, I would be fortunate.
They
would fight on."
I
have seen you on your deathbed
Giving
that money you earned
Rag-picking
to the diksha bhumi
Saying
with your dying breadth
"Live
in unity……. fight for Baba………. don't forget him……….
And
with your very last breadth
"Jai
Bhim."
I
have seen you……..
I
have never seen you
Even
wanting a new broad-bordered sari
Mother,
I have seen you………..
translated
by Sylvie Martinez, Rujita Pathre, S. K. Thorat, Vimal Thorat, and Eleanor Zelliot.